my beloved dad

Dad has leave this world for 2 weeks already.. it is not easy coping all  this.. I miss him despite the quarrel with him... Every time I encounter some things, places or songs, or what you may say... it always link to him... and I teared.. even thou i kept myself busy for the past two weeks, I just can't stop thinking about him..

my aunt told me not to think.. because my dad will be worried and will not leave the world peacefully.. i am trying very hard.. very very hard.. I just can't accept that my dad, my most beloved dad, will not be with me anymore... he will not see me getting married, having a baby and having a grandchildren of his.. 

every bits and pieces we have in this house, all link to him.. it is so hard to forget.. my 25 years time with dad.. just gone so fast.. life is so unpredictable.. so fragile.. the day he died, i still feel his presence.. i still think he is sleeping.. he don't look like he died.. he look like.. he is sleeping every other days.. :(

i feel happy at least i told him i love him on 21st Dec 2012, when the world say it is gonna end.. and he say i am silly... and on 1st Jan 2013... i am glad... that we have the first and last meal with him... i just feel... so hard to accept... 

yesterday.. when I was having dinner with john.. the place suddenly played "uptown girl"... i start thinking about dad again... the first Westlife album he bought for me... that I love it so much and played non-stop.. i still remember he bought it for me at Lot 1, the basement music cd shop... and at that time, he was so funny... he took the cd out and the alarm rang and say he wanna try if the machine really work... it did... 

anyway, all these memories... will be kept with me forever.. i will stay strong and be strong! and i will.. 

Dad, RIP. I will always love you. We will..

Not to mention, I am very proud of my dad, that he is a down to earth, humble, honorable man when he was alive.. all of his friends, colleagues, relatives came to pay the last respect to him... it make me feel and learn about real friends, real feelings, real concern... i appreciate.. i do... 

dad, even for the last time, you taught me about life... it goes on... no matter how much you earn, how much success you have got, how many friends you have, at the end of the day... if one's gone, they do not bring it with them.. but leaving the sadness... and for now, i learn about... i help and appreciate as much as i do.. do within my means... 

xx,

eve